Dead Man Walking

The leaves fell, fell like her tears.  They hit the ground, making no sound, just wet imprints beneath her.  Her tears chorused down her face, leaving trails twisting and turning, just like those she had followed to get there.  In her hand she held the letter, crumpled against the rotting wood she sat upon.  The moss on the log smeared, smudging the page.  He’s gone, gone. The thoughts ring hollow, just as her sobs ring through the forest.  Only this morning his commander appeared, missing for months is what he said, dead likely as not. It was then she took off, running blindly into the forest, the one place she could always find solace.

But not today.  She hugged her arms around herself, doubling over in pain, wishing she could die instead of feel such agony.  She was in a fog, a mist, a storm of grief. Impenetrable.  She lowered her face to her folded knees, her sobs softening as they are muffled by  her clothing, black hair falling over her face like a curtain, blocking out the sunlight filtering through the leaves, blocking out life.

He knew where she would be, he had met his commander on the lane to her house. She believed him dead, and there was only one place she would go. He ran to the forest, heart pounding, lungs expanding.  He ran for all he was worth, and then stopped short at the scene before him.  The sunlight filtered down around her, she resembled a woodland fairy, dressed in greens and browns, crumpled in on herself, shoulders shaking.  Silently he walks to her side and drops to one knee next to her. Softly, he tilts her chin upwards so she is gazing at him.  He brushes a tear away and grasping her shoulders lifts her to her feet, embracing her securely.

A dead man stood before her, his frosty eyes the same as in life, his strength undiminished; he pulls her up, wrapping her in his embrace.  Her arms instinctively fasten behind his neck, clinging to him for dear life, the tears flowing again.  After ages, she loosens her grip, looking, searching his face, confused. He’s dead, yet he’s here, alive. And then she tests his existence.  She reaches up to his lips, slowly kissing them, knowing he would respond if he truly lived.

That kiss revived him, awakening him for the first time in years.  He could taste her familiarity, feel the texture of her lips as he ran his tongue over them, the foreign taste of salty tears she cried.  Her kiss reawaked his desire for her, stirred something deep in his core, a need to be close to her, closer.  Her kiss is paralyzing,  he slowly sinks to the ground, using the log as support, dragging her down on top of him.

She locks arms and legs around him, never wishing to be parted from him again, gripping with all her strength to hold him to her, never letting him go.  Her fingers tangle in his long brown hair as she lays upon him; heart to heart, breath to breath, chest to chest.  They were one, after years of separation and moments of desolation, they were together again.

Eventually she loosened her grip on him and, sliding partially off his chest she whispered, “They told me you were dead.”

Looking back deeply into her eyes he replied, “Without you, I would be.”

Her green eyes glowed as she kissed his cheek.  She settled herself against him, arm across his chest, one leg bent over his, his arms securely around her.  The stars shined down on them in the little clearing, watching over them as they slept, peacefully, in each others arms.

I’m Sorry, I can’t be your Princess

The tears threaten to spill
To show the world what’s inside
But I hold them back with iron will
None need see what lies within
They wouldn’t understand even if they did

I’m simple yet complexity
Soft but impenetrability
You try to help, but I regress
I’m not your damsel in distress

I wanted to be the knight
But my strength is never there
So I wait in hope with tears to fight
For someone to come riding here

Do I wait in vain? For someone who’s not there
Or is someone waiting for their cue
No matter the truth
I remain here
Hiding, crying, wishing
Someone would hear
And yet I want to be alone
So not to spread my misery
To those who live so happily
I cower in my corner
All Alone

This is the Story of How I Died

A quick Breakdown of Mt. Longonot:
3.1k climb to the rim through dust
7.2k climb and descent around the rim
3.1k back down through a dust storm of your own making

Honestly I loved the hike… once I was on the descent. The ascent to the rim of the crater was definitely a time when I questioned my existence on the planet Earth.  I have a problem with starting way too fast, so by the time I got to the first gazebo (end of the first ascent) I was not ready to continue going up… I honestly considered going back, just because I knew it was going to take determination to get up the next ascent.  Thankfully, about this time, I stumble across Keith who, like me, started off too fast.  We were possibly a very pathetic sight.  so for the rest of those 3k Keith and I pushed ourselves up to the rim, stopping probably ever 4 meters.  During this whole time I thought I was going to end up puking… but I didn’t

The rim was victory number one.  Which we celebrated by sitting in the gazebo, catching our breath, and drinking some more water.  Then came the next part of our journey… the rim.  Comparatively, the rim was not nearly as bad as the first ascent, even though it was a further walk.  The worst part of the rim was the climb to the summit… from there, I declared it was “all downhill” which was a lie. There were more ups and downs, each one bringing us a little closer to the final descent.

The second arrival at the gazebo was greeted with jubilation, and lunch! after a quick apple and water we headed down for the last 3.1k stretch with the students who were in front of us.  The descent was my favorite part. Granted my toes started hurting and I was basically taking a dust bath like a chinchilla, but a bit of running and jumping and not having to drag myself up another hill made it my favorite.

So the moral of the story is, GO! Go find an adventure and finish it, because once the end is in sight, you can forget most of the horrible stuff that happened on the way.