Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
But tears keep leaking from my eyes
Just like the little child who hides
Those nightmares that I feared before
Always lurked behind a door
But now I’m grown enough to see
The monsters lie inside of me

There’s no escape, no way to run
Just let the monsters have their fun
Soon they’ll leave, the sun will shine
And then pretend that all is fine
But soon enough, back they’ll be
Never even warning me
So here I lie, curled in a ball
And hope they fade back in the wall

But free from them I’ll never be
For they are inside of me
Within the creases of my brain
The monsters come, and with them pain
I wish that I could end this curse
But wishing only makes it worse
So don’t be mad or sad for me
Help fight the monsters I can’t see


“I’m So Over It” – Ferguson and Moderation

“But how much more offensive is it to have a flag that promises freedom it doesn’t deliver?”-Tim Hucks
I personally may not know exactly in detail what happened in Ferguson, I may not have ‘all the facts’ but damn it all if I won’t stand with my fellow Americans and especially my black brothers and sisters to defend the justice and freedom that I want to see prevail instead of hiding behind my privilege and letting the idea that I am somehow superior to anyone control my idea of ‘justice’. We sure as hell aren’t a perfect country but we should be taking steps in the right direction, not the other way around. The past happened, and we can’t change that but history is for learning from, rebuilding from, changing from, never is history for forgetting.

Now That We're Here

FERGUSON, MO – AUGUST 17: Tear gas rains down on a woman kneeling in the street with her hands in the air after a demonstration over the killing of teenager Michael Brown by a Ferguson police officer. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images) FERGUSON, MO – AUGUST 17: Tear gas rains down on a woman kneeling in the street with her hands in the air after a demonstration over the killing of teenager Michael Brown by a Ferguson police officer.
(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

“I’m just so over that.” I was sitting in the cafeteria at my school and mentioning the discussions I’d been having with people on Facebook about the happenings in Ferguson, MO, and this was my friend’s response. “Ugh, is this about Ferguson? I’m so over it.” A second passed, and flustered, she quickly remembered her company, adding, “I mean, I care about the issue, I’m just sick of all the opinions about it on my FB. The negativity, really…” And that was it. What my friend probably didn’t know is what I heard when she said that. I heard, “Yeah, I care, but I don’t want to hear…

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A Father’s Presence

From her cold numb hands
the flowers fall.
He only used her,
cared naught at all.
Standing in white,
she’s trying to fight,
the tears.
All words he said,
now fall dead,
on her ears.
She sinks to her knees,
and softly a breeze,
rustles her hair.
As rain starts to fall,
she sends up a call,
to her father.
Then through the rain,
and her fog of pain,
He comes.
Lifting her up,
wrapped in his love,
God holds his child,
and lets her cry.

10 Things Most Americans Don’t Know About America

This is actually a really interesting and great article. I just wanted to share it with all of you because these are some of the same thoughts I have had even before I left the US.

Thought Catalog

Imagine you have a brother and he’s an alcoholic. He has his moments, but you keep your distance from him. You don’t mind him for the occasional family gathering or holiday. You still love him. But you don’t want to be around him.

This is how I lovingly describe my current relationship with the United States. The United States is my alcoholic brother. And although I will always love him, I don’t want to be near him at the moment.

I know that’s harsh, but I really feel my home country is not in a good place these days. That’s not a socio-economic statement (although that’s on the decline as well), but rather a cultural one.

I realize it’s going to be impossible to write sentences like the ones above without coming across as a raging prick, so let me try to soften the blow to my American readers with…

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Shocked Silence

Completely rough with no revisions.  I just wrote this after this morning… it was the quickest way to deal with the shock and confusion I experienced

I cower in my chair
The anger overwhelming
They all are sitting there
Pointing fingers
None are delving
To find the truth

“I don’t think it’s fair”
“would you all just listen”
“I have work to do”
So do we all
So do we all

I’m not asking for anything much
Just a slight consideration
If only one could touch
Their hearts
With a bit of satisfaction

We’re all in this together
But we tear each others throats
It’s amazing that a feather
Can tip
The balance of conversation

I reel in my thoughts
They should not be said
I’m not the boss
Of them
I’m just a volunteer

The shock is wearing
Thank goodness
For that
I thought it would never